Musical Mondays - Building 429 - "Where I Belong

Today's song is by Building 429, called "Where I Belong". I personally have a special place in my heart for this band, because when they were first starting out, they came to my old church for one of their first concerts. My dad did either sound or security for them, I can't remember which. (He also did security for Skillet when they first started out in the 90's, because that's how cool he is.)


Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive
I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong
[x2]

Where I belong, where I belong
Where I belong, where I belong

So, first off, I really enjoy this song. I first heard it when it came out about a year and a half ago, and it really spoke to me during a time when I wasn't quite sure I was where I was supposed to be in general everyday life.

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I'm breathing but am I alive
I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find

This first verse communicates what I think every Christian struggles with at some point in time. We look around our world and we're looking for a place to fit in and serve God, but we see that we don't fit in. We aren't apart of the big group, we're standing out on the edges, looking into the where the "party" is going on. We feel like outsiders. Sometimes, because we are human, we get extremely discouraged by this. I think sometimes Christians are much more susceptible nowadays to fall under the trap of depression and similar issues, because we have been taught that Christianity is easy. When we find out that it's not, Satan can get a hold of us and tell us how worthless we are. The second line, "Sometimes I feel like I'm breathing, but am I alive", is so relevant to me personally. I will go through periods of time where I just feel completely worthless. I feel like a waste of space, and I end up just going through the motions. I'm transitioning out of one of those phases right now.  We all ask questions that don't have answers we would understand as humans in this life. One day, we will be able to understand why God does certain things, what other things mean, how something happened. But right now, the whole basis of our relationship with Christ is our faith.

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

The chorus of this song is a common theme in Contemporary Christian music. It all stems from the idea that we are only passing through this world; we are aliens in a foreign land. And although this has been touched upon in other songs, it never gets old because it's true. Honestly, how can one think about the "suffering" Western Christians say they have to deal with when they have a constant reminder about how much better it is going to be in heaven. Of course you're going to be persecuted, you are in an enemy's territory. How do you Americans feel when you see a Muslim in traditional clothing walking around your local Wal-Mart? You feel contempt, because this "is not where they belong". (Because as much as the media and politicians deny it, America still considers itself to be a Christian country, and many people, especially Southerners, believe that Muslims are evil and should be deported because of the bad reputation their religion has.) This world that we are living in is not where we belong either. As a Christian we are a citizen of heaven, not earth. We're just here as messengers.


So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me

Because we know that what we go through here is temporary, we know that no matter what happens, nothing can break us down. When life comes crashing down around you and you can't even think straight anymore, you have a hope in your salvation through Jesus' death on the cross. That assurance, knowing that nothing can separate you from your Savior, is overwhelming sometimes. Because even if you go through dark trials, He's still there. And nothing is ever going to change that.


When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

Personally, I never want to be away from Christ. When things happen, you have to be close to Him, or you start to doubt, you start say "Why?" And that's when you run the risk of turning your back on God. And trust me, I started down that road, and even the little bit I saw was not good. It's not fun to be without God at any point in time, so why fall away when anything could happen?

Constantly growing,
Emily E.

A Thought on Moms

Today is Mother's Day, May 12, 2013. Today is a day we celebrate the love, the kindness, and the sacrifice our mothers give to us daily. My mother is one of the most influential people in my life. She has been there for me throughout my life, even when I felt that she wasn't. My mom was almost done with her A.A. degree when she had me. She never went back to school. She never got a college degree, but she is one of the most intelligent people I know. As I've grown up, I've seen her many different settings and atmospheres. She was a preschool teacher, a store owner and manager, a high school teacher, a couples' class teacher, but most importantly, she has been, and will always be mom. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about how blessed I am to be her daughter.

I'm not going to lie, though, some days, living with my mom is really hard. We are very like-minded in that when we set our minds to something, we do not change it. It will be this way or it won't be at all. In other words, we're very stubborn, and that causes a lot of conflict in our home. Some days are great, and we agree on everything and it's all just peachy keen. Other days feel like a hurricane of tension is sitting over the entire house, and is just waiting for the right moment to let the bottom drop out.

I'm not going to say that every argument starts with her, because most of the time it doesn't.
most of the time they start with me. I will argue with you that the sky is orange simply out of stubbornness, and my mom is the same way. There were several years as I was growing up that nobody would think either of us would make it to the next year. It is by God's great design that I was given the mother I have.

I was a hard child. Never sitting still, always talking, always moving. I had no patience or attention span, but my mom took it in stride. There were days she would get frustrated, but that doesn't mean she quit loving me. As I grew older, I developed a serious like of respect for authority, and my mouth got terrible. Snide remarks, rude comebacks. I was not a nice person to anyone, let alone my mother, but she never gave up on me. There were days when it seemed like we were going to drive each other crazy, but she never turned away from me. Even now, when I have matured exponentially, there are still days when I just want to yell in her face, but she always love me, and I will always love her.

Through my entire life she has been there for me. She was my chauffeur, my teacher, my role model ( both in how to be and how not to be), my confidant, my friend, my editor, and my money tree. When I'm sick, she gets up in the middle of the night, she stays home and misses out on events, she nurses me. She has juggled various jobs, homeschooling, and a busy social life, all for me and my siblings.

My mom may not be perfect, she may have some issues, but overall, she is the best mother I could have.

I love you to the moon and back, Momma.
Emily E.

Another Quick Update

First of all, I would just like say I am so sorry for disappearing of the face of the earth. Life has been crazy, and I think you all deserve an explanation.

REASONS I HAVE NOT BEEN POSTING:
1) We (my family and I) have been moving! We recently bought the house of some friends of are that have moved, and the last two weeks have been spent packing and painting and cleaning and moving and all that jazz. It's bittersweet, beacuse while we have been trying to move for nine years, we didn't really want it to be to the house of some very close friends who are no longer living within visiting distance.

2) It's the end of the semester! I can officially say, I hate the end of college terms. It is always extremely stressful, especially when you have several presentations and test all crammed together. It is finals week, and I am writing this while waiting to go to my first final. Please pray for me.

3) It's the end of my high school education! Yes, it is graduation time. So add on top of end-of-term pressure, all the pressure that comes from being a high school graduate. I'm homeschooled, so the actual ceremonies are very intimate and personal, and I am performing at both, and am also the student speaker at another. Yes, you read that right, I have two gratuation ceremonies. I also have my last ever piano recital coming up that I am preparing for.

4) I leave for Canada in a month and a half! While this has kind of taken a backseat whit all of the moving, ther is a very long list of things I need to do to ensure that I am actually going. I will make a post with a to-do list later.

So, yeah. That is why I haven't been posting very much, and I do apologize again and also in advance in case I don't post anything else in the near future.

Edit: Also, I have noticed that I have a very broad international reader base, and I wanted to let you know that I would love to hear back from you all, so please feel free to comment on any of the posts. I would love to be able to interact with all of my readers. I want this blog to be a place where I not only share my insights and opinions, but where we as a group can have a well-mannered and respectful conversation. so, please feel free to comment any feedback or your own opinions regarding the post content, but please, remember, this is a Christian blog, and I will delete, block, or report any user who uses any kind of vulgar or crass language. Thanks, y'all.

Crazy busy,
Emily E.

To Rest in God

What does that mean, to rest in God? We cannot rest in a person, that's absurd. You can rest in a thing; rest in a bed, rest in your car, rest in a chair, but not a person. And God is person, yes?

Then how does one rest in God? You can rest with a person, both in the tranquil presence of each other. But that requires not only the physical presence of a person, but also requires the other person to rest as well. But the Bible says that God does not rest, how could He watch over His children if He did? And He is not physically present with us, because Jesus ascended into heaven 2,000 years ago. So if one cannot rest with God, how does one rest in God?

in Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up my yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

He says here, that to rest in God is to let go of your worries and burdens of the world and focus on the life and teachings of Jesus. I have realized, that when many preachers teach on these verses, they like o leave on verse 29. Jesus says, "Take up My yoke and learn from Me." He wants us to focus on Him. When we focus on Him, the things of this world grow insignificant. They are nothing compared to the peace and fulfillment we receive from following Christ. When  we look to Christ and make a point to learn from Him and the way He handled situations, the world and its ways seem to grow increasingly unpleasant. I Jesus, there is peace, hope, and gentleness. In the world, there is chaos, insecurity, and hatred. To rest in God is to find peace.

It may not mean physical rest, no. Rather, it means spiritual, emotional rest Though the world hurts and tears us apart. Jesus heals and ends the broken. In Jesus, there is unexplainable peace.

In peace,
Emily E.

Canada Update

Looks like I'm going to be uploading three new posts today... because I have a very exciting announcement!
Earlier today I received an email telling me that I have been assigned to the East Bay Baptist Assoiation in Sacramento California!... Wait , what? Yes, I was indeed told that I was going to California, not Canada. And as any good mother, my mom (who is also my editor, by the way, you can all thank her for the readability of this blog) told me to call and make sure this was correct.

So, I called and left a message, and she called me back an hour later. She said I was placed in Vancouver, which was labeled as CD01. I told her the email had said CA01. She was suddenly very flustered because apparently something messed up with the computer merging software when they sent out all the email notifying all of those assigned to Vancouver. So, in the end, she told me I was going to Vancouver, Canada, not Sacramento, California (wow, that sentence had a lot of commas). I should be getting another email with the correct information sometime tomorrow.

I can not tell you how excited I am. After I got off the phone, I started jumping up and down and giggling like a madman. I am so ready for this experience, I just cannot wait to see what God does this summer! Another great thing is that I am not leaving on June 3 like I originally thought. I will be leaving sometime around the second week of June,so I won't be stressing out about packing for Canada and graduation simultaneously, so that is a relief.

Excited about the future,
Emily E.

Musical Mondays - Casting Crowns - "Jesus, Friend of Sinners"

Second Musical Monday post, as promised.

http://youtu.be/BY6VAy9y_iQ
Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

Yeah...

Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours

And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet


So, I'm going to try to not go off on a self-righteous tangent here, because honestly, I feel that this song deserves it's own sermon, but I don't have the authority for that.

Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

We, as Christians, have turned away from the basic principle of the Gospel, that is, we have forgotten about selfless love. We have grown self-serving, cutting down people that we deem unholy and unrighteous with our so called "power of the Word". We have turned the truth of the Bible into a weapon of guilt and condemnation. As people who are genuinely hurting and interested in the hope and peace that comes with a relationship with Christ try to find their way to Him, they are distracted and rerouted by us, who say they are not good enough, God could never love them. We are a walking contradiction of ourselves, like the Greek goddess Janus, who had one face turned toward the past, and one turned to the future, but never one facing up, towards the sun. We are sinful and despicable, unloving and unrepentant.


Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

Now, in a world that is falling down, with no hope in sight, we realize that we have been a major source of persecution to those who need love the most. Many of us are realizing that we need help from God. When we look at the world, we look in disgust and revilement. But when we look through the eyes of God, we begin to look at the world with love, seeing the hopeless and the hurting. We feel the need to reach out and treat people the way Jesus has taught us. When we look at the world through the filter of the Holy Spirit, our hearts should break.


Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs, crossed over the lines and loved like You did

We answer to the Almighty power of Christ, who, through compassion and gentle discipline, changed the hearts of those like us. It is He who helps us see people as we should. It is He who turns our angry, judgmental hearts into hearts of love and generosity. It is through the memory of the cross that we are reminded how to love.

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Jesus, our supreme, perfect example, was the epitome of love. He didn't look at people through the eyes of one trained to be bound by social status. He didn't act according to the status quo. He broke those boundaries, loved the nasty people. He died for them. He died for you. He died for me. Because you and I are nasty, dirty, rotten, no-good sinners who wallow and take comfort in our lies and our vanity and our sins. We are the people bound by social status, we are the ones Jesus should have ignored. But He didn't, because He looked at us with love. He was moved to compassion in His heart. He was moved to compassion; His heart broke for us. Our sinful lives were painful to Him. He cared so much that it hurt. And He still does. He loves us so much that our sin is painful to Him. Our sin is the pain that He bore on the cross. It is what drove Him away from God while he hung there, bloody and naked, dying a cruel, embarrassing death. It wasn't their sin, it wasn't the government's sin, it wasn't your heathen neighbor's sin. It was your's. It was mine. And He did that, because He loves you. Because HE will always love you. No matter what you do, what you've done, what you will do in the future. He loves you. 

In my opinion, this song is one of the most powerful songs Casting Crowns has released to date. It is a call to action. It is a call  for Christians everywhere to wake up, open their eyes, and realize that those people we point our fingers at are not the ones who should be despised. It is us. We, who throw slur after discriminating slur at every unsaved person who walks by, are the dirty ones. We claim to love God, and to love every one else but in reality, we take the Sword of the Truth, and use it to break down those who need it to be a welcome to grace. 

What sick creatures we are, us "Christians". We are nothing more than sin on display for the world. What good does it do to stand across the street from that clinic and tell those women they're committing a sin? Do you not think they know it already? How dare we point fingers at a person and condemn them to hell with a power not given to us, instead of looking with love and trying to reach out and help them. Some of them are there because they don't know that there is any other choice. Or because of the choices they have already made. Show them there is another choice.

There is always another choice. It's called grace. It's not a fair choice, but it was offered to us. And since we seem to think that we are righteous and holy due to our own works, then why not give them your dose of grace? You obviously don't need it, so why hold on to it? It's not like a savings bond, it doesn't grow bigger over time. So just give it away. God did.

Emily E

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Musical Mondays - Casting Crowns, Pt. 1 - "Already There"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qtg9axTtNLg
So while looking up the lyrics to this week's song, I saw another song that I really like, so I'm giving you guys a two-for-one special! I'm going to write two Musical Monday posts, both of which are Casting Crowns songs.

While Casting Crowns is not my absolute favorite band, I do enjoy several of their songs. The first song today is from their 2011 album, Come to the Well, and is "Already There".


From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there

Let's begin, shall we?


From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

The first verse begins with the singer stating what he sees at the present moment in the current situation. He is probably going through a hard time, and he speaks out to God, saying how he doesn't understand what is going on, why this would happen, but it is, and he wishes he could control it.

I think that's how most people are, don't you? We go through life, and when it's good, when it seems beneficial in our eyes, we don't question it. But when things get hard, we look at God with misunderstanding and question Him, saying, "God, why is this happening? What is going to come from this situation? Why me? Why now?" And we know that God sees it, but we impatiently search for an answer to our struggles.

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

The chorus here confirms what the Bible says so often; That even though we can't see what is going on, God can see the big picture, and He knows what is going to come out of this. God is not bound by the laws of human time; He is omnipresent, He transcends time, as He created it. He is everywhere, at every time. Our future is already a memory to Him, because He already knows what's going to happen. He is already there at the end of our timeline, standing ready to meet us.


From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

The second verse expands upon the idea that God sees everything from a different perspective than we as humans do. Whatever we're going through seems like chaos, disorder surrounding us on all sides. But to God, it's the pieces of a work of art that will eventually become our lives. Nothing is hidden from God's eye, and nothing comes as a surprise to Him.

One day I'll stand before You 
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

When we die, or when Jesus comes back for God's children, we will look back on our life, and finally be able to see it from God's perspective, and see how exactly everything worked out to our benefit. How the trials and tribulations grew us, changed us, and made us into the person God wanted us to be. How the problems and the losses we suffered helped us minister to other people who were hurting just like we did. And when we stand as an heir in Heaven, we will look back, and everything will make sense.

In Christ,
Emily E.