This week at my church, we are having a speaker and an expert on godly relationships teaching our adults and youth ministry while we have VBS (Vacation Bible School) for our children’s ministry. Dr. Richard Marks is brilliant and has incredible insight from years of ministry and being a counselor, and has a large amount of godly wisdom to give. This week, the purpose is not to focus on marriages and romantic relationships specifically, but on relationships as a whole and how we interact with other humans on a daily basis. There is so much I wish I could comment on and write more about, but what stuck out to me was this passage of scripture he mentioned as a way to show how we as humans are wired for community and emotionally close relationships with each other.
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.” - Genesis 2:18-22.
One of the things that stuck out to me that Dr. Marks said is one of the reasons God didn’t instantly give Adam the gift of companionship immediately is so he could understand how desperately he needed Eve. We cannot understand the blessing of togetherness without first knowing the pain of loneliness. This is so evident in the passage; we are made to be close not only to God, but to others. Adam would interact and walk with God every single day in paradise before Eve was brought to him. And yet, he still felt the pain of being alone.
But the biggest thing that stuck out to me was when Dr. Marks said, “Adam didn’t wake up and Eve was suddenly just there; It says that God brought her to him.” In the past few months, God’s been doing some really heavy work in my life, and one of the biggest things is letting go of my control problems and my desire to find myself a husband. I realized recently that God will bring Dude (the affectionate nickname I have given to my future husband, whoever he may be) into my life and down my path whenever He sees fit. And Dude isn’t just going to show up. He is going to be walking hand in hand with God, just as I am, and God is going to lead him to me, introduce us, and then put our hands together so we can all start walking down this new hybrid path of our lives combined.
There are still days and nights where I get incredibly sad and lonely. There are times where it physically hurts how incredibly alone I feel. But Adam felt the same way. And that is such an encouragement. Adam, who physically walked with God in paradise when all that existed was perfection, felt the same pain. It makes complete sense for me to feel that pain today in a fallen world.
Tonight, however, I gained a new perspective on the pain of loneliness. This loneliness is here for several reasons. It is here to draw me even closer to God and lean on Him and his closeness in this time of singleness. It is there to draw me closer to the non-romantic relationships in my life. It is there to allow me to take the love I want to be able to give to a husband and to pour it into the lives of even more people in a different form. Being in this period of waiting allows me the time and experience that comes with learning how to love different kinds of people in the way that best meets their greatest needs so I can one day be able to meet Dude’s needs without it being a large learning process. Finally, the pain of loneliness is what will allow me to be able to fully appreciate Dude every single day as we walk through life as partners.
So for right now, I will cherish the loneliness, with the understanding and hope that one day, I will not be alone anymore. I will not chase after men in the hopes they are “The One.” We are specifically instructed not to do so in Song of Songs (“Do not stir up love until its time.”) Instead, I will let myself cry. And I will let myself acknowledge the feeling of being alone. I will pour that love I want to give into the lives of those already around me. And one day, God will bring Dude walking down the path to meet me.
Waiting in patience,
Emily E.
No comments:
Post a Comment