What a Christian Is

I'm going to go into a rant, so if you don't want to read my angry words, please feel free to disregard this post completely.

Why does the world hate Christians as a whole? Because Christians hate themselves. Our modern church is not what it should be. It is divided and torn apart by theological differences and pure prejudice and bitterness. Because we are so extremely judgmental that we will kill those who are not like us or who differ in beliefs. We have killed in the name of Christ during the Crusades, the Civil War, and the Civil Rights movements of the 1960's. We shove down those who we think below us and we turn our noses up at them. We cause a stir in OUR OWN CHURCH FAMILES because we think that this person should leave and not come back. We can look someone in the eyes with a smile plastered on our faces and tell them that they are lower than dirt.

The world hates Christianity because we ourselves hate it. The word Christian means "little Christ", are we not supposed to be an example of Christ through our lives and through our words, actions, and reactions? But instead, what are we?

“Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance, and do not think to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I say to you that God is able to raise up children to Abraham from these stones. And even now the ax is laid to the root of the trees. Therefore every tree which does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire." (Matthew 3:7c-10)

We are the hypocrites, the Pharisees, those who say one thing and do the other, those who taint the name of Christ with out foolishness and wickedness. If you claim to be a Christian, but live in a way that spreads hatred not only to nonbelievers, but to other Christians as well, Jesus says that you might as well be like a "Gentile and a tax collector" to the Body. This means the Christians around you may as well and throw you out of the church and turn their backs on you because you refuse to work towards peace.

A person who lives in hatred and bitterness towards other Christians and denominations are not okay; they have a sin problem and they need to get their hearts right with God.

I have heard recently from one of my friends who is going to seminary to be a pastor that a lot of the students there will stop going to chapel services because they become bitter and angry towards other students and chapel services because they had a certain preconceived notion of their own about what a "Christian" should act or look or talk like. Those that don't meet the standards one holds aren't worthy of one's time, nor are they apparently worthy of one's compassion and brotherhood.

Let me let you all in on an apparently little known secret. A Christian is a person, and subsequently a sinful human, just like anyone else. The only exception I or anyone else has is that we have been saved by accepting the grace that was offered to us at the Cross. Every person is different, thus not fitting into one mold, and we all have our problems, thus making us imperfect. There will be very few Christians who meet your standards of what a Christian should be, and I can almost guarantee that you won't find them sitting in a Southern Baptist church.

I think what has happened is that our world has somehow screwed up the image that comes to mind when we think of Christians. So let's break down this mold and let's refocus on what the Bible says a Christian is to be like. First of all, let's talk about what a Christian is not.

A Christian is not perfect. This seems like a shock to a lot of people, but I don't know a single perfect person, let alone a perfect Christian. The word "perfect" is found 85 different times in the New King James Version of the Bible. There is not a single occurrence in which this word refers to the present spiritual state of the body of Christ. There are mentions of us growing to perfection, of God perfecting that which He started in us, but there is nowhere that says that anyone of us is perfect. The only perfect man was Jesus.

A Christian is not sinless. Again, this comes as a shock. Christians aren't supposed to sin anymore, so why are they not sinless? Just because we accept Jesus as our Savior, does not mean we turn into Jesus. That would be like me getting a bike as a birthday present, then turning into the bike. It doesn't make sense, nor is it practical. If we could become sinless through belief, then what was the purpose of the cross? It also helps to understand that the word "sin" comes from the Greek word that would be used in archery competitions to say if the archer had missed the mark and to shoot again. So, the idea behind this is that, sin is not necessarily doing something evil, but rather it is us straying from the path of righteousness and missing the mark that God has set out for us to reach.

A Christian is not a source of infinite wisdom. Look, we are all human. There is an entire universe of knowledge that we will never know, and most of us don't have any sort of special academic abilities. We, Christians, are going through life just like you are, and for the most part, we don't have any idea what we're doing, just like you as well. I most definitely have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. There is no way anyone should ever come to me for wisdom, because I make some really stupid decisions. We all do stupid things, we don't gain any sort of mystery knowledge when we are saved.

A Christian is not a judge. Okay, so this one is really hard to debunk, because sadly, it's all too prevalent in our churches today. I for one would like to say, that if you have ever been judged or have felt belittled by a Christian or by a member of a church, or anyone else who affiliates with the term Christianity, I am truly sorry. And if I have ever judged anyone, I apologize for that. We are just as human as the next, but we have no reason to put you down.

So now let's talk about what a Christian is, or more specifically, what the Bible says a Christian should be. First, A Christian is characterized by love. In Matthew 5:42-47, Jesus makes it clear that the old Jewish law not only stated to love God, but to love others as an outpouring of your love for God. And Christians are not meant to love only other Christians, but to love those who are our enemies; those who are not of the faith. Because "if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" A Christian who loves God will follow His commandments and His path for their life (John 14:15, Luke 16:13). One of the greatest commandments given is "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). As Christians, it is our job to love God, and love others. These are the defining factors and characteristics of a Christian.

As much as I would like to say that there are more things that Christians are, that pretty much puts a cover over everything I could break it down into. If you love someone, you have a passion geared towards them. That passion will create desire, and that in turn creates in us the inexplicable need to move on that desire. If we love someone, we want the best for them. We want them to have the best life possible, so why not tell them about the chance to have the best life possible not only here and now on earth, but after we get to heaven as well? When it comes down to it, a true Christian is a person who has accepted the gift of salvation through the Lord's death on the cross, and who loves God, loves people, and acts on the love they have.

Love In Christ,
Emily E.

Home

So, I've been home for a week and a few days now, and I must say, it's just as it was before I went to Canada, but it is different as well. Part of me wants to stay and fall back into the routine of utter and disgusting laziness, and part of me wants to rise against that as it has for the last seven weeks. I do not know what to do with myself. I want action, but I want inaction. I want change, but I do not want to start the process. I want revival, but I also want complacency.

This week has consisted of cleaning, school orientation, and job searching stuff. My mom told me back a while ago that when I got back there would be a job opportunity available here for me. So I looked into it, had an interview earlier today, and am now an official crew member at my local Firehouse Subs! I've also been trying to set up classes for this semester, and have been going through such a hassle with it. First I had to call the welcome center, then I had to sign up for online orientation, then I had to do the orientation, then I have to either wait for them to call me back, then they didn't call me back, so I had to call them this morning. Turns out, they're not taking appointments right now, only walk in's.So first thing tomorrow morning I'm heading up to the school at seven am. I have to meet with an adviser so I can get the classes I want. If I don't get the classes, I can't graduate on time, and if I can't graduate on time, then I can't go to Liberty on time and it will screw up my plans...of course, it's not about my plans, is it?It's about what God has planned.

Last week while I was still in Vancouver, my parents told me we are not staying in this current house. We believe we were simply a means of blessing to two families in their time of need, and we are now currently getting the house ready to be shown...and we have to keep it that way at all times.I don't do well with continuous clean. My brain does not work with continuous clean. I have to have some form of clutter to distract me when I get to frazzled. Then I clean it up. Maybe. I might actually just make some more messes. But for now, I have to buckle down on keeping it clean. we're apparently looking into finding a house that has something along the lines of a separate mother-in-law's quarters or a garage apartment or something for me, so I have semblance of independence, but mom and dad and food are still right there when I need them.

So, now that I am starting school back again, and I am starting my first job, and we're focusing on moving again, this blog might become a little less updates, and more musings and expository writings and stuff. I don't know if I want to continue with the Musical Mondays or not, I think that would be up to you, my wonderful readers. I am truly thankful for every single person who reads this blog, and I hope that you take away fro it as much as God and I have put into it. I have readers from all around the world, and I love each and every one of you, so your opinions matter deeply. If you enjoy the past Musical Mondays posts, comment and let me know so, if I get a good response I'll keep trying to make them.

In Christ,
Emily E.

Musical Mondays - Emily Meadows - Coming Home

I wrote this song a couple of months ago. It pretty much sums up how I'm feeling today. I don't think any explanation is needed.

On my way back to the place I knew as a child

On my way back to the place where I used to smile

On my way back to the ones with open arms

Back to the place where I am safe from life’s harms

On the way back to the place my memories grew

On my way back to the place where I found You

On my way back to the place I hold so dear

Back to the place where they can comfort all my fears

Though I walked away when I

Thought I could make it on my own

Eventually we all knew that

I would always come back home

I’m going home

I’m going back to the love I knew

(I’m going home)

I remember how much I needed You

(I’m going home)

I’m going back to the ones who guided me

I’m going home

On the way back to the place my memories grew

On my way back to the place where I found You

On my way back to the place I hold so dear

Back to the place where they can comfort all my fears

Though I walked away when I

Thought I could make it on my own

Eventually we all knew that

I would always come back home

I’m going home

I’m going back to the love I knew

(I’m going home)

I remember how much I needed You

(I’m going home)

I’m going back to the ones who guided me

I’m going home

I walked away, didn’t even look back

But they held on, held their memories in their hearts

I turned away, didn’t say goodbye

But they kept their arms open for me

I’m going home

I’m going back to the love I knew

(I’m going home)

I remember how much I needed You

(I’m going home)

I’m going back to the ones who guided me

I’m going home

In Christ,

Emily E.

From the Field- Final Update

It is 2:30 pm. I am completely packed and ready to go. In four hours, I will be at debriefing starting the end of my time here in Vancouver.  In two days, I will be on a plane heading to Chicago on the first part of my journey home. I am not prepared to leave. I do not have any desire to leave. As I go, I am leaving a very large part of my heart behind. And that is okay. Falling in love with a city is okay. Falling in love with a church and with an ethnic group is okay.

Mourning over the loss of them is not okay. I will miss Vancouver, but I will not be overcome by sorrow when I return home. I will not allow my longing to be back debilitate me from working back at home. I will not let it hold me back from my studies, I will not let it hold me back from whatever ministry I may have at home.

Because as great as this summer has been, it has to come to an end now. And I'm okay with that. I have made friendships that will last a lifetime, if not this one, than the one in eternity. And hopefully, we'll all see each other again someday.

I'm so thankful for the opportunity to come to Vancouver this summer, and I'm so thankful for all your prayers. Continue to pray for me while I travel and readjust to life back at home. There are a lot of things that are going to be going on when I get back, so I'm going to have to bounce back into the swing of things quite quickly.

As for school plans, I am still going to finish my Associates degree when I return. I will have that completed within the year, so that will take up a lot of time. I will be looking for a job as well, and will begin my journey into the adult world! (yay.)

In Christ,
Emily E.

Some Thoughts

So...it's been a while since I just sat down and let you all know what's going on with me.As you should know, my time here in Canada is coming to a close soon; We have six days of ministry left, then two days of debriefing, then we all fly out next Saturday. It seems so surreal to think about leaving, and like I said before, a very large part of me wants to stay here. I have fallen in love with my students, and this church, and this city, and all the people who call it home. But...I am ready to go home to my family. I am ready to sleep in my bedroom, with it's aqua painted walls and plywood flooring (don't ask). I'm ready to hug on my family, and to see everyone back at FBC Glen St. Mary. I'm ready to start school again, as much as I dislike saying that. I'm ready to be able to drive myself places instead of waiting on public transit. I'm ready to go home.

Yes, there are parts of me that are going to hurt when I leave, but it's all part of the process. I think the biggest thing I'm afraid of is how I'm going to react spiritually to being back home in the familiar. I don't want to get back, get caught up in all the work that comes with looking for a job and starting classes, and making a budget and saving money, and keeping an organized calendar, because I'm an adult and I have to do these things for myself now. I don't want to get back home and look how people spent their summers and think that they wasted them because they didn't do something big, or exciting, or productive. I don't want to carry myself with a self-righteous attitude. But, most of all, I think my biggest problem with going home, is that I don't want to go back, turn around, and move up to the college and career class. I want to go back to the youth group, where all of my friends are, even if we are still looking for a full time youth pastor.

As I've been reflecting on my time here, I've realized that this trip was just as much about God working through some things in my life as it was about God using me to reach people. There were a lot of questions that I didn't know I had, and there were some things from my past that I didn't realize I needed to come to terms with. Being up here, interacting with a lot of different people who had a lot of different lifestyles and problems helped me see some of mine. I've been doing a lot of praying, and a lot of crying, for a lot of different reasons that I can't really tell you yet. Some things involving plans for my future are still a little foggy for me, and some of the things involving my past are a little too sensitive right now. One day, though.

But for now, I know from what others have told me, and from the satisfaction that my soul gets from it, that writing and teaching on God's Word is what I am passionate and gifted at. Even though I had an idea to be a short-term missionary after I finished up this next year of school, I think I should continue with my bachelor's degree after I get my Associate's. I do think I'm going to try for Liberty, but there are a few other school I want to look back into now.

So that's what's been going on with me, personally, while I've been up here. I don't know what going home is going to be like, I don't know what I'm expecting. As much as most of us dislike believing, the world keeps going even when we're not around. People have been living their lives back at home, and I'm sure they've changed as people do. So we'll see what happens.

In Christ,
Emily E.

From the Field - Quick Updates

I just realized I haven't been giving you readers any updates! So I'm going to give you guys the last two email updates that I sent back home.

From July 9:

Sunday, I taught my first lesson. After debating for the past few weeks on what I should teach on, I believe the Richmond youth needed to hear about making biblical principles a priority. So I have started a six-session series I am calling Priorities: Six Godly Principles As Exampled By Jesus. I feel many of these kids are truly born again believers, but they aren't focused or don't know how to follow Christ. By taking the title of Christian, you are calling yourself a follower of Christ, and I want them to see how they can do that by simply applying how Jesus lived to their own lives. A lot of the kids also don't really put spiritual things at the top of their list of important things. They may or may not come to church or other church related events, simply because they had other plans that sounded better, or because they just didn't want to.

So pray for the youth that they would open their ears to what God wants them to hear and that God would take hold of their hearts and threat they would feel the urge took truly build their relationship with God.

Also pray for the first Friday session coming up this week. We had ten kids on Sunday, which is a pretty big group for them. Fridays, however, they don't really have a core group. This bothers me. Their Friday nights are like our Wednesday nights, except they meet at other people's houses. I know Fridays are the night to go on dates and have fun, but I would love to see some more people come. So pray that they feel the need to come on Friday.

In other news, we (the entire Vancouver intern group, there were ten of us) went and climbed the Grouse Grind, which is an intense trail up the Grouse Mountain. So I climbed another mountain. It was pretty hard, but not nearly as hard as The Chief in Squamish. I was still at the end of the pack with one of the other girls, but we had a nice time all the same. This time, we hiked in the evening, and we got to watch the sunset from the top and rode the lift down. Needless to say, I am very sore and tired.

Also, I believe I am getting sick. I woke up with nasal drainage and a scratchy throat, so please pray that it doesn't get any worse and that I heal soon.

From July 18:

First of all today, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement you sent last week while I was feeling icky. I truly believe it helped me recover faster. Thank you to everyone who has been diligent in prayer. I'm sorry I haven't been able to send updates and requests as often as I'm sure you would like.

Thank you specifically to the youth group. I finally picked up the letters you sent me yesterday, and I read them while waiting for my bus. I truly miss each and everyone of you, and am honestly surprised by the impact I have made within the group. I never realized the role I played in the youth group, so thank you for helping me see that. Thank you for stepping up and praying for me while I am here, it means the world to me that my friends are actively working to help supply me with the strength and energy I need to continue my work each day. I love you all and cannot wait to see you again soon.

Update time. This past week has been incredibly busy, and I don't think there will be any slowing down until I'm done. Last Friday at small group, we talked about reaching out to the outcasts of society like Jesus did, and the students really took that to heart and showed an interest in wanting to reach out to homeless people. Sadly, there is an overwhelming number of homeless people in Vancouver and the surrounding suburbs. You can't go to the sky train station without seeing at least one. You can't go down Granville Avenue without hearing the sounds of young homeless buskers hoping to make some cash. You can't go down Hastings without seeing all of the homeless people, stuck in their squalor and addictions. And these students, many of whom came from very well-off families, who have never truly known hunger, have found it in their hearts to reach out to them. We continued this discussion Sunday during Sunday School, and we talked about the first steps in helping to restore the broken lives around us. While we by no means are miracle workers, we all agreed to take on the mindset that Jesus had: That we must operate on the assumption that we have a wonder working God who delights in restoring lives that seem irrevocably shattered, and that the people around us are a miracle waiting to happen. So pray for the students and for me as I begin to look for ways the group can go downtown and minister to these broken people.

Also, please, please pray for the Chinese Christian Gospel Church. Seth (the youth pastor) and his family are moving back to Texas later this month. Seth has been going through some things and he needs to take some time away from the ministry. The church is now looking for another pastor, or someone to fill in until they find a pastor. Pray for Seth as he continues to recuperate over the next year, and for Meredith (his wife) as she goes back to teaching in Texas. Meredith and their son Monte leave sometime today, so pray for safe travels for them.

Finally, I want to ask you all to not only continue praying for me as I work here to do God's will, but that I may have a clear direction to go after I return home. I have fallen in love with these students and this city, and in all honesty do not want to leave, but I made a promise to finish at least one degree, and will have to return home to complete my Associate's degree. After I graduate, there are so many different paths I could take, so many different experiences, and all of them seem inherently good, which makes it all the more difficult to see which one is not only good, but which is the right one that God would have me follow. Please pray that I find the emotional strength to carry on while here, as there have been several day recently where I have felt stuck in a rut of emotional indifference, and do not want to do anything at all. This is not a new feeling for me, as I deal with it quite a lot at home, but please pray that I find the strength to fight against it for the sake of my students, if nothing else.

Continue to pray for Stephen and Morgan as well, as they take on teaching at the other three locations. They are also hosting a game night tomorrow night, so pray that it all goes smoothly for them.

So, that is what has been happening lately. I have 9 more days of ministry with CCGC, which means my time is coming to an end. Please pray for me as I start to wrap up my lessons.

In Christ,

Emily E.

2 am

So it's 2 am, and I can't sleep.

I have thirteen days left in Canada. I have eleven days of ministry left.

I do not want to go back home. I do not want to go back to school. I do not want to go back to living with my family. I do not want to get back on a plane. I do not want to watch my team members get on different planes than me. I do not want to leave my students. I do not want to leave Vancouver. I do not want to lose my passion. I do not want to go back to mundane living. I do not want to go back to being surrounded by people with the goal of furthering the numbers of the church. I do not want to forget God. I do not want to put God back in the box.

But at the same time, I want to see my family again. I want to hug my little brother. I want to watch TV with my sister. I want to have a real conversation with my dad. I want to eat at my mom's table. I want to talk to my friends. I want to take bible classes. I want to listen to my pastor preach. I want to see my music minister one more time. I want to hold my cat close to me. I want to sit at NY keyboard and play for three hours. I want to break out my clarinet and make horrid squeaks until music comes out of it again. I want to run around the yard with my dogs. I want to help my mom pick berries and mint, and put up corn. I want to play dress up. I want to wear an actual dress to church.

I don't want to leave, because I've fallen in love. I've fallen in love with this city, with this church, with my team, with the people of this city. But I want to go home to the others I love. I want to go back to my family, my friends, my church.

Why must God give us a passion, send us somewhere, then send us away again? Why must I stay for a little while then move on? Why can I not travel the world from place to place instead of going  home? Why must this be so hard? I've made a home out of Vancouver, I don't want to leave.

I'm coming back one day, some day, soon.
Emily E.