So...it's been a while since I just sat down and let you all know what's going on with me.As you should know, my time here in Canada is coming to a close soon; We have six days of ministry left, then two days of debriefing, then we all fly out next Saturday. It seems so surreal to think about leaving, and like I said before, a very large part of me wants to stay here. I have fallen in love with my students, and this church, and this city, and all the people who call it home. But...I am ready to go home to my family. I am ready to sleep in my bedroom, with it's aqua painted walls and plywood flooring (don't ask). I'm ready to hug on my family, and to see everyone back at FBC Glen St. Mary. I'm ready to start school again, as much as I dislike saying that. I'm ready to be able to drive myself places instead of waiting on public transit. I'm ready to go home.
Yes, there are parts of me that are going to hurt when I leave, but it's all part of the process. I think the biggest thing I'm afraid of is how I'm going to react spiritually to being back home in the familiar. I don't want to get back, get caught up in all the work that comes with looking for a job and starting classes, and making a budget and saving money, and keeping an organized calendar, because I'm an adult and I have to do these things for myself now. I don't want to get back home and look how people spent their summers and think that they wasted them because they didn't do something big, or exciting, or productive. I don't want to carry myself with a self-righteous attitude. But, most of all, I think my biggest problem with going home, is that I don't want to go back, turn around, and move up to the college and career class. I want to go back to the youth group, where all of my friends are, even if we are still looking for a full time youth pastor.
As I've been reflecting on my time here, I've realized that this trip was just as much about God working through some things in my life as it was about God using me to reach people. There were a lot of questions that I didn't know I had, and there were some things from my past that I didn't realize I needed to come to terms with. Being up here, interacting with a lot of different people who had a lot of different lifestyles and problems helped me see some of mine. I've been doing a lot of praying, and a lot of crying, for a lot of different reasons that I can't really tell you yet. Some things involving plans for my future are still a little foggy for me, and some of the things involving my past are a little too sensitive right now. One day, though.
But for now, I know from what others have told me, and from the satisfaction that my soul gets from it, that writing and teaching on God's Word is what I am passionate and gifted at. Even though I had an idea to be a short-term missionary after I finished up this next year of school, I think I should continue with my bachelor's degree after I get my Associate's. I do think I'm going to try for Liberty, but there are a few other school I want to look back into now.
So that's what's been going on with me, personally, while I've been up here. I don't know what going home is going to be like, I don't know what I'm expecting. As much as most of us dislike believing, the world keeps going even when we're not around. People have been living their lives back at home, and I'm sure they've changed as people do. So we'll see what happens.
In Christ,
Emily E.
Yes, there are parts of me that are going to hurt when I leave, but it's all part of the process. I think the biggest thing I'm afraid of is how I'm going to react spiritually to being back home in the familiar. I don't want to get back, get caught up in all the work that comes with looking for a job and starting classes, and making a budget and saving money, and keeping an organized calendar, because I'm an adult and I have to do these things for myself now. I don't want to get back home and look how people spent their summers and think that they wasted them because they didn't do something big, or exciting, or productive. I don't want to carry myself with a self-righteous attitude. But, most of all, I think my biggest problem with going home, is that I don't want to go back, turn around, and move up to the college and career class. I want to go back to the youth group, where all of my friends are, even if we are still looking for a full time youth pastor.
As I've been reflecting on my time here, I've realized that this trip was just as much about God working through some things in my life as it was about God using me to reach people. There were a lot of questions that I didn't know I had, and there were some things from my past that I didn't realize I needed to come to terms with. Being up here, interacting with a lot of different people who had a lot of different lifestyles and problems helped me see some of mine. I've been doing a lot of praying, and a lot of crying, for a lot of different reasons that I can't really tell you yet. Some things involving plans for my future are still a little foggy for me, and some of the things involving my past are a little too sensitive right now. One day, though.
But for now, I know from what others have told me, and from the satisfaction that my soul gets from it, that writing and teaching on God's Word is what I am passionate and gifted at. Even though I had an idea to be a short-term missionary after I finished up this next year of school, I think I should continue with my bachelor's degree after I get my Associate's. I do think I'm going to try for Liberty, but there are a few other school I want to look back into now.
So that's what's been going on with me, personally, while I've been up here. I don't know what going home is going to be like, I don't know what I'm expecting. As much as most of us dislike believing, the world keeps going even when we're not around. People have been living their lives back at home, and I'm sure they've changed as people do. So we'll see what happens.
In Christ,
Emily E.
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