So it's 2 am, and I can't sleep.
I have thirteen days left in Canada. I have eleven days of ministry left.
I do not want to go back home. I do not want to go back to school. I do not want to go back to living with my family. I do not want to get back on a plane. I do not want to watch my team members get on different planes than me. I do not want to leave my students. I do not want to leave Vancouver. I do not want to lose my passion. I do not want to go back to mundane living. I do not want to go back to being surrounded by people with the goal of furthering the numbers of the church. I do not want to forget God. I do not want to put God back in the box.
But at the same time, I want to see my family again. I want to hug my little brother. I want to watch TV with my sister. I want to have a real conversation with my dad. I want to eat at my mom's table. I want to talk to my friends. I want to take bible classes. I want to listen to my pastor preach. I want to see my music minister one more time. I want to hold my cat close to me. I want to sit at NY keyboard and play for three hours. I want to break out my clarinet and make horrid squeaks until music comes out of it again. I want to run around the yard with my dogs. I want to help my mom pick berries and mint, and put up corn. I want to play dress up. I want to wear an actual dress to church.
I don't want to leave, because I've fallen in love. I've fallen in love with this city, with this church, with my team, with the people of this city. But I want to go home to the others I love. I want to go back to my family, my friends, my church.
Why must God give us a passion, send us somewhere, then send us away again? Why must I stay for a little while then move on? Why can I not travel the world from place to place instead of going home? Why must this be so hard? I've made a home out of Vancouver, I don't want to leave.
I'm coming back one day, some day, soon.
Emily E.
I have thirteen days left in Canada. I have eleven days of ministry left.
I do not want to go back home. I do not want to go back to school. I do not want to go back to living with my family. I do not want to get back on a plane. I do not want to watch my team members get on different planes than me. I do not want to leave my students. I do not want to leave Vancouver. I do not want to lose my passion. I do not want to go back to mundane living. I do not want to go back to being surrounded by people with the goal of furthering the numbers of the church. I do not want to forget God. I do not want to put God back in the box.
But at the same time, I want to see my family again. I want to hug my little brother. I want to watch TV with my sister. I want to have a real conversation with my dad. I want to eat at my mom's table. I want to talk to my friends. I want to take bible classes. I want to listen to my pastor preach. I want to see my music minister one more time. I want to hold my cat close to me. I want to sit at NY keyboard and play for three hours. I want to break out my clarinet and make horrid squeaks until music comes out of it again. I want to run around the yard with my dogs. I want to help my mom pick berries and mint, and put up corn. I want to play dress up. I want to wear an actual dress to church.
I don't want to leave, because I've fallen in love. I've fallen in love with this city, with this church, with my team, with the people of this city. But I want to go home to the others I love. I want to go back to my family, my friends, my church.
Why must God give us a passion, send us somewhere, then send us away again? Why must I stay for a little while then move on? Why can I not travel the world from place to place instead of going home? Why must this be so hard? I've made a home out of Vancouver, I don't want to leave.
I'm coming back one day, some day, soon.
Emily E.
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