Canada Update

Looks like I'm going to be uploading three new posts today... because I have a very exciting announcement!
Earlier today I received an email telling me that I have been assigned to the East Bay Baptist Assoiation in Sacramento California!... Wait , what? Yes, I was indeed told that I was going to California, not Canada. And as any good mother, my mom (who is also my editor, by the way, you can all thank her for the readability of this blog) told me to call and make sure this was correct.

So, I called and left a message, and she called me back an hour later. She said I was placed in Vancouver, which was labeled as CD01. I told her the email had said CA01. She was suddenly very flustered because apparently something messed up with the computer merging software when they sent out all the email notifying all of those assigned to Vancouver. So, in the end, she told me I was going to Vancouver, Canada, not Sacramento, California (wow, that sentence had a lot of commas). I should be getting another email with the correct information sometime tomorrow.

I can not tell you how excited I am. After I got off the phone, I started jumping up and down and giggling like a madman. I am so ready for this experience, I just cannot wait to see what God does this summer! Another great thing is that I am not leaving on June 3 like I originally thought. I will be leaving sometime around the second week of June,so I won't be stressing out about packing for Canada and graduation simultaneously, so that is a relief.

Excited about the future,
Emily E.

Musical Mondays - Casting Crowns - "Jesus, Friend of Sinners"

Second Musical Monday post, as promised.

http://youtu.be/BY6VAy9y_iQ
Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

Yeah...

Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours

And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet


So, I'm going to try to not go off on a self-righteous tangent here, because honestly, I feel that this song deserves it's own sermon, but I don't have the authority for that.

Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

We, as Christians, have turned away from the basic principle of the Gospel, that is, we have forgotten about selfless love. We have grown self-serving, cutting down people that we deem unholy and unrighteous with our so called "power of the Word". We have turned the truth of the Bible into a weapon of guilt and condemnation. As people who are genuinely hurting and interested in the hope and peace that comes with a relationship with Christ try to find their way to Him, they are distracted and rerouted by us, who say they are not good enough, God could never love them. We are a walking contradiction of ourselves, like the Greek goddess Janus, who had one face turned toward the past, and one turned to the future, but never one facing up, towards the sun. We are sinful and despicable, unloving and unrepentant.


Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

Now, in a world that is falling down, with no hope in sight, we realize that we have been a major source of persecution to those who need love the most. Many of us are realizing that we need help from God. When we look at the world, we look in disgust and revilement. But when we look through the eyes of God, we begin to look at the world with love, seeing the hopeless and the hurting. We feel the need to reach out and treat people the way Jesus has taught us. When we look at the world through the filter of the Holy Spirit, our hearts should break.


Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs, crossed over the lines and loved like You did

We answer to the Almighty power of Christ, who, through compassion and gentle discipline, changed the hearts of those like us. It is He who helps us see people as we should. It is He who turns our angry, judgmental hearts into hearts of love and generosity. It is through the memory of the cross that we are reminded how to love.

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Jesus, our supreme, perfect example, was the epitome of love. He didn't look at people through the eyes of one trained to be bound by social status. He didn't act according to the status quo. He broke those boundaries, loved the nasty people. He died for them. He died for you. He died for me. Because you and I are nasty, dirty, rotten, no-good sinners who wallow and take comfort in our lies and our vanity and our sins. We are the people bound by social status, we are the ones Jesus should have ignored. But He didn't, because He looked at us with love. He was moved to compassion in His heart. He was moved to compassion; His heart broke for us. Our sinful lives were painful to Him. He cared so much that it hurt. And He still does. He loves us so much that our sin is painful to Him. Our sin is the pain that He bore on the cross. It is what drove Him away from God while he hung there, bloody and naked, dying a cruel, embarrassing death. It wasn't their sin, it wasn't the government's sin, it wasn't your heathen neighbor's sin. It was your's. It was mine. And He did that, because He loves you. Because HE will always love you. No matter what you do, what you've done, what you will do in the future. He loves you. 

In my opinion, this song is one of the most powerful songs Casting Crowns has released to date. It is a call to action. It is a call  for Christians everywhere to wake up, open their eyes, and realize that those people we point our fingers at are not the ones who should be despised. It is us. We, who throw slur after discriminating slur at every unsaved person who walks by, are the dirty ones. We claim to love God, and to love every one else but in reality, we take the Sword of the Truth, and use it to break down those who need it to be a welcome to grace. 

What sick creatures we are, us "Christians". We are nothing more than sin on display for the world. What good does it do to stand across the street from that clinic and tell those women they're committing a sin? Do you not think they know it already? How dare we point fingers at a person and condemn them to hell with a power not given to us, instead of looking with love and trying to reach out and help them. Some of them are there because they don't know that there is any other choice. Or because of the choices they have already made. Show them there is another choice.

There is always another choice. It's called grace. It's not a fair choice, but it was offered to us. And since we seem to think that we are righteous and holy due to our own works, then why not give them your dose of grace? You obviously don't need it, so why hold on to it? It's not like a savings bond, it doesn't grow bigger over time. So just give it away. God did.

Emily E

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Musical Mondays - Casting Crowns, Pt. 1 - "Already There"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qtg9axTtNLg
So while looking up the lyrics to this week's song, I saw another song that I really like, so I'm giving you guys a two-for-one special! I'm going to write two Musical Monday posts, both of which are Casting Crowns songs.

While Casting Crowns is not my absolute favorite band, I do enjoy several of their songs. The first song today is from their 2011 album, Come to the Well, and is "Already There".


From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there

Let's begin, shall we?


From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

The first verse begins with the singer stating what he sees at the present moment in the current situation. He is probably going through a hard time, and he speaks out to God, saying how he doesn't understand what is going on, why this would happen, but it is, and he wishes he could control it.

I think that's how most people are, don't you? We go through life, and when it's good, when it seems beneficial in our eyes, we don't question it. But when things get hard, we look at God with misunderstanding and question Him, saying, "God, why is this happening? What is going to come from this situation? Why me? Why now?" And we know that God sees it, but we impatiently search for an answer to our struggles.

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

The chorus here confirms what the Bible says so often; That even though we can't see what is going on, God can see the big picture, and He knows what is going to come out of this. God is not bound by the laws of human time; He is omnipresent, He transcends time, as He created it. He is everywhere, at every time. Our future is already a memory to Him, because He already knows what's going to happen. He is already there at the end of our timeline, standing ready to meet us.


From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

The second verse expands upon the idea that God sees everything from a different perspective than we as humans do. Whatever we're going through seems like chaos, disorder surrounding us on all sides. But to God, it's the pieces of a work of art that will eventually become our lives. Nothing is hidden from God's eye, and nothing comes as a surprise to Him.

One day I'll stand before You 
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

When we die, or when Jesus comes back for God's children, we will look back on our life, and finally be able to see it from God's perspective, and see how exactly everything worked out to our benefit. How the trials and tribulations grew us, changed us, and made us into the person God wanted us to be. How the problems and the losses we suffered helped us minister to other people who were hurting just like we did. And when we stand as an heir in Heaven, we will look back, and everything will make sense.

In Christ,
Emily E.

Changing My Mind

Before anyone freaks out, no, I am not having second thoughts (again) about going to Canada. I'm starting to  reevaluate my schooling options. Many of you know that I have very specific ideas and plans for y college career. After finishing up my A.A., I want to transfer to a larger university to get my Bachelor's degree in Music Business and/or Production with a major in Songwriting and a minor in Music Education (just so I can  support myself). I narrowed down my options to four schools, Belmont University, Liberty University, Full Sail University, and University of Mobile. Three of these schools are Christian schools, and all of them are private...which means they're all expensive.

Now, Belmont is my dream school. It has the exact degree I want, and one of the best Music Industry study programs in the country. It also has a lot of artists come in and work with students in the school's recording studio. It is home to the Mike Curb School of music, which is excellent! Full Sail is a private arts college, focusing on the movie and music industry, as well as marketing for several different areas. They also have their own on -campus recording studio, and also work with big-name officials and companies who know your field of study and can get you connected to the right people.

Liberty's music program is fairly new, but it shows promise. While searching through their online catalog, I didn't see a Music Business of Production degree, but I did see a degree in recording. That would be good if I wanted to be in front of the mic, and not necessarily behind the scenes. Of course, over the last couple of years, I've shifted my focus from me being the one on stage, to me being the one behind the songs.

The University of Mobile's website did not have and up-to-date course catalog, so I could not see what fields of study they provided, and if I can't get that information, then I will cut them out completely. So in reality, that narrows it down to three schools for music.

But in the past week or so, I have been thinking that maybe I could get a degree in Nutritional Studies or Food Science. This idea came to me when I started thinking about how I would eat and stuff when I moved out of my parents' home. See, we eat according to a thing called the Daniel Plan (danielplan.com), which focuses on eating biblically and cutting out all the poison that is in our food industry today. It consists of mostly organic and locally grown fruits and vegetables, whole grains, brown rice, and minimal animal proteins. If you can't grow something locally, at least buy products grown in your own country. It is much healthier and it supports your own economy.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I have problems, like many Americans, when it comes to choosing what to eat. I am a sugar addict, as is half of this country, and I will almost always pick the sweeter food. Fruits over veggies, cake over pie, ice cream over anything else. Even my favorite vegetable (corn, which isn't nutritionally a vegetable) is mostly sugar. That being said, since we started eating to acording to the Daniel Plan, I have wanted to make better eating decisions, and I want other people to want ot make healthy choices, too.

I guess underneath it all, when you put aside the fields of study and the titles and degrees, I want to help people. I want to help people understand that they are more than what they see. They are a child of God and they have worth. I want to speak to them through my music, and I want them to be encouraged by it. I want people to understand that there body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and that they should take care of it and use it as a testimony to God. To reach your full potential, you have to be healthy.

I want to help a lot of people. The only problem, though, is that in music, it takes a long time to get to the point where a significant amount of people hear your music. It took F.U.N. twelve years to get to where they are today. I don't want to wait that long. There are people out there hurting, and I can't stand to know that. With a nutritional degree, I can help people who come into (wherever it is I end up working) and take them through whatever their problem is and how they can change it.

I just want to help people...But why is it so hard to know how?

Caught up in all the choices
Emily E.

Quick Update

So... It's been a while since I posted anything, and I'm really sorry about that. Life has suddenly caught up to me, and I was not prepared. This post is going to be a quick update until I can post something else.

Update 1.) I had a yard sale on March 2, and it went wonderfully! If anyone reading this gave me stuff for the sale, thank you so, so much. I ended up making around $300 for my mission trip, which put me just over $1,000 total. That's $200 more than I needed, and people are still donating money to my trip. So thank you and may God bless all of you.

Update 2.) I had a birthday on Monday. I turned 18, which means I am officially an adult! Of course, for me that doesn't mean much, except I can pick up and buy my own medications... and vote, I can vote now (would've helped five months ago, but whatever). Also, Daylight Savings time began the day before my birthday which was different. It didn't used to be that early, but okay.

Update 3.) We (my family) are trying to sell our home and move to a different one. It is completely a God thing that we have the opportunity to move, and we think God may have given us a family to buy our current home. It is a really tricky situation though, but whatever happens, I hope we can bless the people who buy (or rent) our home.

Update 4.) I'm having a birthday party on Saturday. So no more posts until next Monday probably.

Also, in case you didn't hear, Hugo Chavez has died, and a new pope has been selected. These are both excellent opportunities for us as Christians to pray for our fellow believers in both the Catholic church and in Venezuela. Pray for those in leadership positions that they may look to God for guidance in leading their people.

Busy as ever,
Emily E.

P.S. I'm really sorry about posting the first Musical Monday and then dropping off the face of the earth. I promise there will be more and I think it is going to be an every-other-week thing instead of every week. So you can still look forward to those.

Musical Mondays - Francesca Battistelli - "Strangely Dim"

So I decided the other day on my way home from class, that it would be really cool if I took the lyrics of songs that speak to me and share them with all of you. I'll go through each song bit by bit and dig into what each songs says to me. Some of these will be songs on the radio, some will be older, and some will be my own writings. So, to start it all out, I want to introduce you to a fairly new song by the wonderful Francesca Battistelli, called Strangely Dim.

I've had all these plans piled up sky high
A thousand dreams on hold
And I don't know why,
I got a front row seat
To the longest wait
And I just can't see
Past the things I pray
Today

But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

Sometimes where I stand
On this narrow road
Is in a raging storm
Or a valley low
But oh

When I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

I don't know, I don't know
What tomorrow may hold
But I know, but I know
That You're holding it all
So no matter what may come

I'm gonna fix my eyes on all that You are
'Til every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
Let all my worries fade
And fall to the ground
I'm gonna seek Your face
And not look around
Til the place I'm in
Grows strangely, strangely, strangely dim.

So, the first time I heard the entire song in full, I instantly knew that this song was going to be a song that will get me through a lot of hard times I'm going to face. Very upbeat and springy, but also very real. Francesca definitely does not sugar-coat her feelings in this song. So let's dissect it, shall we?


I've had all these plans piled up sky high
A thousand dreams on hold
And I don't know why,
I got a front row seat
To the longest wait
And I just can't see
Past the things I pray
Today

The first verse is something akin to what I believe many people my age feel. We feel like we've come through this time in our life that we've had planned out by adults, and now that it has come to an end, we wonder what happens next. We, I especially, have all these big dreams and plans that we want to have happen in our lives, and we are not a generation who likes to wait. We want things to happen quickly and we want things now. So when Christians my age get to this point, we look around and feel as if we're not quite adults yet, and yet we're not kids anymore. It's another awkward stage in life, almost as awkward as those dreadful middle school years. When we pray for guidance, and ask God for those dreams that we want to have happen, we end up getting stuck in this cycle of waiting, and a lot of times, waiting can lead to uncertainty an anxiety. I know that right now, I'm waiting for several things. I'm waiting to hear from Current Canada and get my placement e-mail; I'm waiting on graduating; I'm waiting for the right time to pursue a relationship; I'm waiting for a job; I'm waiting to move out and go to a university. There are so many things my generation is waiting for, and we get downhearted by the wait sometimes and can't see past our immediate surroundings to God's bigger picture.


But when I fix my eyes on all that You are
Then every doubt I feel
Deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade
And fall to the ground
Cause when I seek Your face
And don't look around
Any place I'm in
Grows strangely dim

This is the chorus of the song, and it full of spiritual truths. When we turn to God and come to him with every single one of our burdens and we focus solely on Him, everything of this world falls away, and nothing else really matters but Him. Every doubt, every fear, every struggle we deal with, it all fades in comparison with the assurance and hope we have in Christ. All the things we worry about tend to fall by the wayside when we look in God's Word and actively seek His promises and blessings.


Sometimes where I stand
On this narrow road
Is in a raging storm
Or a valley low
But oh

The second verse is pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes, life gets hard. There's no way around it. When we stick to the path God has laid out for us, we are going to go through hard times, whether they be chaotic, or just dark. But that doesn't matter, because God is on our side.


I don't know, I don't know
What tomorrow may hold
But I know, but I know
That You're holding it all
So no matter what may come

The bridge of this song states something that is very obvious and that is told to us several times in the Bible. We don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. We can't see the future. If we could, we might all go crazy. But we have the knowledge that God knows what happens next, even if we don't. All we have to do is simply trust Him, because no matter what happens, we look on the face of God, and he will lead us home.

Praising Him,

Emily E.

Dealing with Failure

Failure. Disappointment. Not good enough. Chances are, most of us have been called one of these at some point in our lives. Whether it was by a parent, friend, teacher, or ourselves, somehow we all get this label. I can't recall many times where other people have called me a failure, but I know I have called myself one many times over my relatively short life.

Many of these times have been when it comes to the areas of academics and extra-curricular activities. I remember the first time I got an F on an assignment. It was a 3rd grade math assignment, and I didn't see there were more problems on the back. When I got the paper back in my take-home folder that Friday, I was so shocked, I dropped the folder on the floor. I had never gotten anything below a B (I think), and I was so scared. I remember thinking I was going to be in so much trouble when mom goes through the folder. I then sat and gave myself a very harsh mental scolding, saying that I was stupid, and why didn't I check the other side of the paper, and GOSH you are an idiot, Emily. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Another time, in 7th grade band, we were having our last chair testing to see who would play what part at the end-year recital, and I had been 1st chair the entire year, so I was really cocky about this test. Ends up, I was a little too confident, and ended up messing up terribly. I ended up going from 1st to 5th. There were eight clarinet players, so that was a pretty bad. I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep that night, after thoroughly beating myself up mentally for being such a terrible musician, and you don't deserve to even be in symphonic band, who do you think you are, you'll never be good enough, you should just quit, you sorry excuse of a clarinetist...

Of course, thanks to my parents being godly people, I've never experienced that kind of verbal abuse from them, or anybody now that I think about it. Of course, many people are never told by others that they are failures, they thrust those ideas upon themselves, which leads them to believing them for their entire lives if they're not careful.

As Christians, we are not promised that we will succeed in everything we try. Christ never said life after salvation was going to be an easy, breeze through everything you do kind of endeavor. No, life is going to be hard, there are going to be challenges that you are going to face, things that you are going to have to do, and as hard as it is to admit, sometimes you're going to come short of your own goals.

And you know what? That is okay. Nobody but you can give you the drive for you to achieve, no one else can place your goals upon you. Only you can do that. So when you don't quite make it to those goals, the only person you're letting down is yourself. Everyone else is just proud that you took on that challenge. They didn't hold you to an impossibly high goal, and if they did, it was because they believed in you, not because they wanted to see you fail. You tried, and that is good.

Earlier today (2/16/13), I got my scores for the January SAT, and my score was about 300 points away from being eligible for the largest Bright Futures Scholarship (the Bright Futures Scholarship is a scholarship program by the state of Florida that is given to outstanding or exceeding students, and is funded through lottery money). I was really confidant in my scores, and I thought I might have a chance, but I added them up, and I just barely missed the mark. I was so disappointed, but then I looked back at my scores. My math score had gone up 80 points. I went from a 490 to 570. I actually got in the 500's in math this time. This was my fourth time taking the SAT, and I finally got a math score in the 500's. That was one good thing. The other good thing was I still over-qualified for the second-highest scholarship. And there is always the March SAT if I want to take it again, but I don't think I will.

There are two ways to approach your apparent failure. You can either wallow in pity and self-depreciation, or you can analyze what happened, and find the good in it. What did you learn from this? After turning in a half-done assignment, I learned to always check and make sure I did everything that was asked of me. After dropping to 5th chair, I learned to not let my abilities get to my head, and that I still needed to practice, even if I was better than everyone else without it. I'm not quite sure what I learned from the SAT yet, other than it is an evil test, but I'll let you know when I do.

Smiling through the problems,
Emily E.