So... It's been a while since I last posted, but I am very happy to announce that I am officially in the mission field. I am currently sitting in the Dallas/Fort Worth airport waiting for my flight into Vancouver. While sitting here, I've come to the conclusion that I hate airports. I love flying, it's like riding a really long roller coaster, but I do not like airports at all! I feel so self-conscious just sitting, with all these other people, trying not to look at them, hoping they don't look at me, and then thinking, there's a soul behind that face. I remember why I'm here in the first place. I'm not going on vacation. I'm going on a mission. I am going to proactively fight a battle against the enemy. I am joining forces with two other young adults and a whole church so that we may save lives. I am here to be the embodiment of love to people.
As I sit here, listening to a man talk about the fascinating business of medium sized farming, I remember that God has given me a specific job to do. He has given me a charge. Change the world. Go and do the job I have for you. Go and show them Jesus through your actions. And still I sit here, too scared to strike up a conversation with the older couple splitting a few seat s down from me. Too scared to ask the two really rude guys to stop cussing and looking at me like they're trying to impress me. Too scared to ask the other loner why he's going to Vancouver.
But I'm also too scared to ignore them. I'm too scared to not wonder what their life is like. I'm too scared to not think that they might need Jesus. I'm too scared to let myself take a nap and block everyone out for an hour. I'm too scared to not see them.
A little boy ran by earlier dragging a suitcase behind calling for his mom and dad. At first, I worried he was lost, but he seemed intent on following a certain woman, so I thought he was with her. But then she didn't turn around. By that time, they were farther down the way than I wanted to go. I am so ashamed. I could have gone have him, should have gone after him, and made sure he was okay. What if he wasn't? What if he's still wandering the airport? What if it was all my fault? I could have shown him how much Jesus loves the little children, instead I showed him how much our world doesn't care. I haven't even gotten to the final stop and I have already failed in my mission.
I've held eye contact with an older man several times, and yet never said a word. For all I know, he could have been begging me to tell him about this Savior,m this Jesus I know. For all I know he could die tomorrow. I have been sitting in this airport for two hours and I have refused to listen to the cross of the souls surrounding me.
Who am I, that God would want to use me, a dirty, rotten, heartless creature, to spread the love of the Gospel. Why would He choose me, a lazy, disgusting child, to teach about His truth? What qualifies me to do any of this?
The answer is nothing. I am nothing, I have done nothing, and I will never be anything significant enough to qualify me for Kingdom work. Yet, even in this, God looked at me, pricked my heart, and said, "I want you to go. I choose you. I chose you before you were even born, because you are special. You are precious to Us, and We want you to be a witness to the awesome things We can do through the broken vessels. I have chosen you, my child."
Jeremiah 1: 5-8, "I chose you before I formed you in the womb; Inset you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations. But I protested, 'Oh no, Lord, God! Look I don't know how to speak since I am only a youth.' Then the Lord said to me: Do not say, 'I am only a youth,' for you will go to everyone I send you ton and speak whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to deliver you. This is the Lord's declaration."
Emily E.
As I sit here, listening to a man talk about the fascinating business of medium sized farming, I remember that God has given me a specific job to do. He has given me a charge. Change the world. Go and do the job I have for you. Go and show them Jesus through your actions. And still I sit here, too scared to strike up a conversation with the older couple splitting a few seat s down from me. Too scared to ask the two really rude guys to stop cussing and looking at me like they're trying to impress me. Too scared to ask the other loner why he's going to Vancouver.
But I'm also too scared to ignore them. I'm too scared to not wonder what their life is like. I'm too scared to not think that they might need Jesus. I'm too scared to let myself take a nap and block everyone out for an hour. I'm too scared to not see them.
A little boy ran by earlier dragging a suitcase behind calling for his mom and dad. At first, I worried he was lost, but he seemed intent on following a certain woman, so I thought he was with her. But then she didn't turn around. By that time, they were farther down the way than I wanted to go. I am so ashamed. I could have gone have him, should have gone after him, and made sure he was okay. What if he wasn't? What if he's still wandering the airport? What if it was all my fault? I could have shown him how much Jesus loves the little children, instead I showed him how much our world doesn't care. I haven't even gotten to the final stop and I have already failed in my mission.
I've held eye contact with an older man several times, and yet never said a word. For all I know, he could have been begging me to tell him about this Savior,m this Jesus I know. For all I know he could die tomorrow. I have been sitting in this airport for two hours and I have refused to listen to the cross of the souls surrounding me.
Who am I, that God would want to use me, a dirty, rotten, heartless creature, to spread the love of the Gospel. Why would He choose me, a lazy, disgusting child, to teach about His truth? What qualifies me to do any of this?
The answer is nothing. I am nothing, I have done nothing, and I will never be anything significant enough to qualify me for Kingdom work. Yet, even in this, God looked at me, pricked my heart, and said, "I want you to go. I choose you. I chose you before you were even born, because you are special. You are precious to Us, and We want you to be a witness to the awesome things We can do through the broken vessels. I have chosen you, my child."
Jeremiah 1: 5-8, "I chose you before I formed you in the womb; Inset you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations. But I protested, 'Oh no, Lord, God! Look I don't know how to speak since I am only a youth.' Then the Lord said to me: Do not say, 'I am only a youth,' for you will go to everyone I send you ton and speak whatever I tell you. Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to deliver you. This is the Lord's declaration."
Emily E.
Enjoyed this Emily.
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