The Clare Issue

I am livid. I am furious, I am beyond appalled. For those of you that haven't seen the story, or for those of you who live outside the United States, a girl in Virginia was kicked out of her homeschool senior prom over the weekend for an absolutely ridiculous reason.

She was kicked out because the organizers of the event thought her dress, though suitable within dress code and not the shortest one there, was inappropriate and that her dancing, which she was not doing, was also inappropriate and that she was causing "the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts." Not only that, but the way she and the rest of her group was treated by the organizer of the prom was absolutely unprofessional and horrendous.

Here is the story, and here is the follow up post. Please excuse any explicit language you may come across.

Now, there is a lot going on here, and I want to address it all. First of all, go Clare for being excited and comfortable with your body and being able to absolutely rock that dress, and for breaking the racial boundaries that the South is known to have. Your boyfriend seems very sweet and I applaud him in his ability to keep calm during this whole ordeal. To have your significant other called out is a terrible thing and I'm sure this is hard on him and the rest of your family as well.

Secondly, I applaud both Clare and the rest of her group for trying to be as respectful and as mature about the situation as possible. I know at the end things got a little rough, but the fact that they even tried to go about this in a respectable, calm manner means volumes. I know personally, I would have had a fit right there, so I think they deserve a lot of respect for that.

Honestly, I think the teenagers handled this situation the best they could and used their resources and abilities to make the situation known. However, they did lose their temper at the end when they were escorted out, but they all agree that it was the wrong way to go about things.

What I am appalled with, is the way the adults handled this situation. The fact that the fathers, the fathers, were staring and ogling at the teenagers is disturbing as it is and should be addressed as such. There is a terrible, terrible stigma within church culture that it is the father/husbands job to moderate and keep tabs on what their daughters and wives wear. Honestly, I love my father and i respect him. He is the most important man in my life besides Jesus, and if he was uncomfortable with something i was wearing, I wouldn't wear it, and that goes for a majority of girls I know. I highly doubt from everything else I have read that her father would have let her out of the house in that dress had he not felt comfortable with her wearing it.

Secondly, I am disappointed that none of the other adults involved with leading the event got involved. It seems that this was the solely the responsibility of Mrs. D, who called her out both times and caused a commotion in the first place. When the other woman who pulled Clare aside was asked whether she believed it to be too short, she said it wasn't her place to say. So, one we see a woman abusing her power as organizer, and another who is not willing to get on her bad side. When asked, a security guard also said it wasn't his place to comment (which in all fairness, it wasn't. He's a security guard, not the fashion police).

This kind of thing happens all the time. You have one person who has some small leadership role, who blows up the significance of their responsibilities to the extreme, and because of this reason, others are afraid to contradict them. It was that woman's place to say whether or not she agreed with Mrs. D, and she should have given her opinion.

I'm utterly disgusted with the way these young adults were treated, honestly. they were shut down and not given a chance to defend their friend. Clare was falsely accused of dancing provocatively and her friends were not allowed to dispute this. This whole situation was skewed and the argument was one sided. There was no chance at defense, and had this been within a court of law, it would have never, ever been acceptable practice. Also, her entire group of six were given verbal promise of a refund for all having to be kicked out on unjust reasoning, and only Clare and her boyfriend have been given one.

This kind of behavior is disgusting in or out of the church. It is called slut shaming and it is being prejudiced or biased against a person for the clothing they choose to wear, whether it be revealing or not. It is wrong and it needs to stop. I am really really sad to know that church culture is so bad about this. We say we love everybody, yet we give them disapproving glances when they show up in clothing we think is unsuitable.

How dare we.
How dare we think that because we follow a guideline set for or specific religion or our specific denomination that must mean every other person in our presence should follow it too. Jesus Christ compels us, not to judge those around us, but to love them. And I am disgusted, i am appalled, I am livid.

But most of all, I am guilty. I grew up in church culture that didn't advocate this kind of behavior, but it didn't speak against it either. If a woman showed up to church or to anywhere really, and they were wearing something we didn't consider modest, we talked about it. My mother and I talked, my sister and I talked, my friends and I talked. It was harmless gossip, right? Well, looking back, I see how wrong I was. And I am sorry, that I have been a part of the problem. I am sorry that I grew up in a culture that encouraged slut shaming, and encouraged this kind of discrimination. And I fell into that without a second though.

With this whole situation arising, I've begun to evaluate how I feel about the whole modesty movement within churches today. And I realize that there are some things wrong with it. I feel that this post is already long enough, so I will be writing about it in a different post. But let me say right now: Modesty is a matter of the heart, not what you put on your body. It applies to men and women, and it is in no way gender exclusive.

Emily E.

Musical Mondays- My Song is Love Unknown

I don't have any in depth analysis for this. I found this hymn in my hymnbook and I felt like sharing it. This is My Song is Love Unknown, written by Samuel Crossman in 1664. I've never heard this song, but here is a link to a video of it.

My song is love unknown,
My Savior's love to me,
Love to the loveless shown,
That they might lovely be.
O who am I,
That for my sake
My Lord should take frail flesh and die.

He came from his blest throne,
Salvation to bestow:
But men made strange, and none
The longed for Christ would know.
But O my friend,
My friend indeed,
Who at my need His life did spend!

Sometimes they strew his way,
And his sweet praises sing;
Resounding all the day
Hosannas to their King.
Then, "Crucify!"
Is all their breath,
And for his death they thirst and cry.

In life, no house, no home
My Lord on earth might have;
In death, no friendly tomb
But what a stranger gave,
What may I say?
Heav'n was His home:
But mine the tomb wherein he lay.

Here might I stay and sing,
No story so divine;
Never in love, dear King,
Never was grief like thine!
This is my friend,
In whose sweet praise
I all my days could gladly spend.

Life, Peace, and Taking It One Day at a Time

Let's talk about peace. And how it affects our life.

Recently, I have had to go through some things that I should not have been peaceful about. But about two weeks ago, I realized that my relationship with God allows me to live my life without anxiety, without anger, and without worry. My relationship with Christ allows me to live in freedom, with peace and joy. And that's a really big deal.

Because even though I fell in love with Jesus, I didn't live in a very dedicated relationship. I remained devoted to Him because I had a relationship, but that didn't keep my eye from wandering. But a few weeks ago, I realized I had begun to walk away, I didn't care anymore. I was ready to stop going to church, to take a break.

And I got my heart broken. I tried to let someone else take the place of God, and it didn't work. But I made peace, because I didn't need that. It wouldn't have been good for me. And honestly, I'm glad, I'm humbled by the fact that God wanted me enough to call me back.

If some of you remember, I've been dealing with anxiety episodes since about August. And I have come to the point where I can look back and see it was because I was trying to do it myself. I wanted to do it, I wanted to plan my life my way. As I can attest to, and as the Bible warns, it doesn't work out.

You cannot live your life as a Christian, cut Christ out of your life choices, and expect to be successful. It simply doesn't work. I've tried it, my parents tried it when they were younger, I've seen really intelligent people try it. And they've screwed up. And they have all had to live with the consequences.

I also lost my job this week, and yet I have not been stressed about it, I have not been worried finding a new job. I am content with my life as it is right now. I have been going through the financial process with Liberty University, and I have hit some roadblocks. Some other schooling options have opened up, and I have been level-headed in searching for resources. I should not be this calm about it all.

But I have peace. Better yet, I have the Prince of Peace on my side.

So what do I have to fear?
Emily E.

Ruins of a Song

The day you left, the place fell to ruins

The day you left, it let itself go. 

The day you left, the lights stopped turning on.

the day you left, I wrote this song.

And when you return, it'll all be empty.

And when you return, it'll be a wreck.

And when you return, the windows will be knocked in.

But when you return, you'll bring life again.

The day you left, the ceiling started rotting.

The day you left, the chandelier fell. 

The day you left, the floor gave out underneath.

The day you left, the lights burnt out.

And when you return, it'll all be empty.

And when you return, it'll be a wreck.

And when you return the stars will question you.

But when you return, you'll be home.

I wrote this about three months ago, for no real reason other than I saw some pictures of some abandoned buildings. So, it's been sitting in drafts for that long, and I am in the process of working on some really heavy stuff right now. I have posts planned, but they are going to take a while to complete.

Emily E.

Christianity and the Love of Jesus

So last night at church, we were talking about how Jesus told his first disciples to come and see, and follow Him. It got me thinking on Jesus's doctrines and lifestyle in general, and I realized something. Our Christian culture today, when trying to evangelize, tend to use either a fire and brimstone, you're going to hell if you don't believe in Jesus approach, or the happy happy happy everything is fine and dandy approach.

Neither of those are correct, but I want to focus on the fire and brimstone. I think today's North American church is all about getting as many people converted, and they aren't particularly focused on their spiritual health. We are constantly looking for the next soul to save, the next poor tortured person to pull from the grip of Hell, but for what? Where do we go with that conversation after saying, "Congratulations, you are now exempt from the fiery pits of Hell." Well, in a lot of instances, we don't do anything. We say good job, give them a pat on the back, then move on. And frankly, I don't think that's what Jesus would have wanted.

Jesus operated on the idea of love and mercy, not shame and judgement. And I don't think that's taught enough within the church, so it most certainly isn't taught outside of the church. And for that, I am truly sorry.

I grew up in a Baptist Church that became non-denominational while we were there, and I accepted Jesus into my heart at six years old, because I was afraid to go to hell. As a six year old, I was truly afraid, I wasn't looking for a relationship with a Savior, I was looking for a rescue. And after I found that rescue, I wanted to keep my Savior happy by doing what I was supposed to do. I wanted to follow the rules for fear of being punished. I realize now that probably wasn't the best way to go about things.

I am not saying my salvation at six years old was not real, because it was. But when I was in Vancouver over the summer, I didn't just realize that Christ's actions were out of love. I fell in love with a dead Man. Because that's what Christ was about. His actions were always backed by love, mercy, grace, forgiveness. And I saw that in Vancouver. I saw love in action, I wanted to become that love in action. So if you know me personally, and you hear me talk about how amazing Vancouver was, that's why. Because I fell in love with my Savior there.

Imagine it this way: A Prince and his Father looked around and saw that all of their people were doomed. And the only way they could fix it was to send the Prince to die in everyone's place. So He does. He steps down from his throne, willingly, and He lives life like his people. He actually ends up living worse than some of his people. He doesn't have a permanent home, he travels all the time. He goes around trying to woo his people, trying to tell them how much He loves them, and that soon He is going to die for them. And some of them believed Him, and some didn't. But eventually, they all realized that He was right. And some of them got upset, but the Prince said, "It's okay, I'm going to come back." And then He was killed. Brutally, disgustingly, in a way a Prince should not have to suffer. But He did; He was tortured, and he was beaten, and it was deplorable. And He died. And He stayed dead. And his followers, who loved Him, were discouraged, because one day passed, and then another, and still the Prince hadn't come back. But He said He would, they all thought, Surely the Prince would be able to cheat death. But He still did not come back. But the next day, they went to visit the tomb, and they discovered that the tomb was empty. Their Prince was gone! And He was with them again! For more than a month, He spent time with them, until he had to return to the throne. His job was done, and He had to go back to help His Father. But that didn't make Him love His people any less, He just loves them from a position of power.

At 18 years old, after having struggled to justify why I believed what I did, I realized, because I was loved. My entire life had been a process of Jesus wooing me to him through his love and sacrifice. And how, after seeing everything that He had done for me, could I say no?

I couldn't say no. It didn't make sense. I had nothing to live for except for Him, and He had already died for me. So what could I give Him in return to show my love? My life. I gave Him my life. And it hasn't been easy, in fact, I have found that I am just as moody some days now than I was before I discovered this love, but I always manage to catch a glimpse of a little miracle, of a flower opening, or a rabbit in the backyard eating, or of a baby crying, or of the sunset. And I remember, I am loved. And I am in love with a dead Man.

I want to love others that same way. I want to love with no boundaries, with nothing held back. I want to live with love constantly pouring out from every particle of my being. I want to be a walking billboard of love.

Emily E.

International Women's Day

Today is international Women's day and as a woman, I believe I have some words to say on this day. Before anyone asks, I am a feminist. Why? Doesn't feminism go against Christian doctrines? No, it does not. There are many places where the Bible holds women in high regard. The most quoted and probably most obvious place is Proverb 31, which talks about the Virtuous Wife, or the Capable Woman. It states:

"What, my son?
And what, son of my womb?
And what, son of my vows?
Do not give your strength to women,
Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
It is not for kings to drink wine,
Nor for princes intoxicating drink;
Lest they drink and forget the law,
And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.
Give strong drink to him who is perishing,
And wine to those who are bitter of heart.
Let him drink and forget his poverty,
And remember his misery no more.
Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates."

Let's first off realize, that these words are not coming from the man writing, they are a direct quotation from his mother. This is what his mother has taught him, and this is how the author views women. He sees them as wise, strong, virtuous, thrifty, and a leader within the household. He respects women. He does not see them as silent creatures meant only for childbearing and housework, she is the financial analyst, the teacher of the children, the director of the massive play that is the servants and housekeepers. And then, we see in verse 24, "She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants." She works to gain an income. Let me repeat that.

In biblical times, the women were allowed and encouraged to make and sell goods as another means of income. I don't know how much I can stress this. Women, if you want to work, even if it is selling things on Etsy or whatnot part-time, then by all means, you can work! I know there are some women who have no desire to work outside of the home, and that is fine. But don't let any religious leader tell you that the Bible does not allow women to work. This is not true, and this theology should not be allowed to oppress anybody.

Let's see what else she does. She does good for her husband and not evil. What does this mean? Well, mainly, don't be disrespectful to your husband. But I think, as some of you are single like me, that it means don't disrespect anyone. She willingly works with her hands; She does things for her family because she wants to. If someone willingly does anything, it is probably something that brings them joy. She finds joy in providing for her family. She rises while it is yet night. I'm not going to lie, this seems to be strangely far-fetched for today's society. No one likes getting up before the crack of dawn, so this seems a little out there for most of us. But it helps her get things done, and have the most productive day possible. She provides food not only for her family, but for her servants as well. She treats everyone with equality and decency. No one under her roof goes without. She is business savvy; She considers a field and buys it. You need fields for one of two reasons. One, for crops. Two, for livestock. Now, in Israel, or at least in the Jerusalem area from what I have learned over the past few years, many people kept their livestock in collective groups, and they had big open hills where they take their livestock, especially their sheep, and as a community keep them and take care of them from there. So, the virtuous woman is most likely buying a field for crops, which means she has to know what kind of plant works with the soil in that field, what time that crop blooms and needs to be harvested, and what kind of profit her household is going to make from the crop. That's a lot to remember. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She doesn't sit around doing needlework all day, this woman is busy. She is involved in some kind of physical labor. She is not only mentally and emotionally strong, she is physically strong as well. 

She extends her hand to the poor. Again, she treats everyone with decency and respect. She gives what she can to those who need help. She makes sure her household is properly clothed and prepared for all seasons, and she does not fret when the winter comes. She opens her mouth and speaks with wisdom and kindness. There is no anger in her voice. She does not eat the bread of idleness; Again, she doesn't sit around and do nothing, she is an active participant and leader within her own home. Her children and husband call her blessed and give her praise.

So, we see the Bible praises women as an integral part of society and of a household. Women are permitted to work, and women can work and be good mothers. So what does this have to do with International Women's Day? Well, not much actually. But I wanted to show what I base my feminism on.

International Women's Day is all about women's rights. It is about equality for us, and respect for us as a gender. Around the world, women are subjected to violent patriarchal standards, and are not permitted to have the same freedoms that men are. It has gotten better, but is nowhere near where it should be. Women, we are the voice, and we need to stand up for those of us around the world who do not have the liberties that we have in Western society. So many women are forced into prostitution, slavery, and bondage because that is the last resort when you are needing to provide for your family. Women who work, are paid on average, less than half of what men across the globe is.

And you know what? This makes me angry. This hurts my heart. My heart breaks, my soul dies every time I hear a story about how these women across the world are not able to fend for themselves. That girls aren't getting an education they deserve. That they are continuing the cycle of poverty because they have no other choice. And it physically hurts my heart. How do I go about my life, with my set education, and my endless opportunities and say that I have no way to help them? Can I help them? I don't know. I feel so utterly hopeless when I look at the world and see how big the problem is and how small my actions are. 

But you would be dead wrong if you think that ever stops me from trying. That is why I write here. Because even though I do not have the ability nor the means to go and fight for my fellow women's freedoms, I have a voice. And you can bet your bottom dollar I'm going to keep writing until I no longer can. 

Women reading this, you are strong, and you are an integral part of our world. I am sorry for the oppression you may be facing wherever you are in this world, and I am sorry I cannot help you. My heart goes out to all of you on a daily basis, and I pray that you will one day have the equality and freedom that God wants you to have.

Emily E.

Update

I know, I know. It's been two months since I've written a real post. And you all are probably wondering why. Well, for several reasons. This semester has been busier than I thought it would be, and I have had to do a lot of research and writing for a lot of my classes, and I spent all my creative energies on that. I've also been doing a lot of stuff away from the computer, so when I get the idea for a post, I forget it by the time I get to a computer. But mostly, I just haven't been all that inspired to write anything. So, I'm sorry for being absent, but I don't think you are going to be seeing a lot of me in the near future either. There is still a half a semester left, and it is packed full of speeches, concerts, tours, and papers. After that, is graduation and then working my butt off over the summer to have as much money for college as possible before beginning my life at Liberty in the Fall. I'm sorry this is so short, but hopefully I'll have something of substance for you all soon.

Busy and loving it,
Emily E.