Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Thoughts on the Future

I don't know about y'all, but I tend to get really nervous thinking about the future. Or thinking about change, for that matter. I don't like it, I get uncomfortable with the idea of some unknown experience or variable that pops into my short range view of my life. I like the way things are. Most Christians like the way their lives are; they are fine with being comfortable.

But we are Christians, we are supposed to be in Christ and of Christ. We are meant to live like He did. Jesus wasn't comfortable. Jesus wasn't allowed to be comfortable. If He had been content with comfort, He would have never come to Earth to live as a human. He would have stayed in Heaven where He could be Christ in His full glory and power. But instead, in order to save our dirty sinful souls, Jesus became uncomfortable willingly. He stayed awake for days on end, to a point where it became unhealthy, to serve people, to heal sickness. He never had a bed or a house to call His own, he was constantly traveling. He went through torture to save us.

Our modern day society was not the only one focused on comfort. People in Jesus' day were, too. Many people, not just the Twelve, would follow and travel with Jesus, listening to His teaching. But as soon as Jesus said something that didn't quite fit with their idea of comfortable things, they said, "Ooh, that makes me nervous. I don't agree with that, because that would involve me stepping outside of my comfort zone, and that's not okay". Those who were uncomfortable with His teaching left and went back to their families and their homes, where they knew it was safe and predictable.

But we are Christians. We aren't allowed to be content with being comfortable. When we become comfortable, we become complacent. We don't care about what God wants for our lives. We start to forget what God has done for us and called us to do, and that's not okay. We begin to become autonomous, living and functioning freely from the rest of the world, focused solely on our own lives and our ideas of important things.That is not okay.

I'm not saying that Americans and other Western countries are committing a terrible sin by living in a way that the majority of have beds, and a variety of foods to eat, an abundance of clothes in our closets, and a house we go home to every night. I'm saying we as Christians should start being scared about the idea of spiritual comfort. We are meant to be learners of God's Word and of God's Will. Being comfortable means not being stretched, not learning. What is a Christian if he does not grow? We should always be spiritually willing to allow God to stretch us and call us to new experiences and new revelations.

I'll be the first person to admit it, I do not like the idea of going on trips. Vacations are good, because they are planned and re-planned several times, so everyone knows exactly what's going to happen, when you're going to get to your destination, and what you're going to do when you get there (although there is always the possibility of a vehicle breaking down, or of bad weather putting a damper on your happy little group, both of which have happened to me and my family).

No,vacations are great, exciting. But trips that are specifically taken to find out which direction your future is going to go, are absolutely terrifying. My family and I are going to visit two colleges over Spring Break, and two others on different weekends. I don't want to go. The idea of assessing a college and it's campus is slightly overwhelming. Of course after that I have to choose a college. I don't want to have to do that either, because that means that I am accepting the fact that I am leaving my family. I don't want to leave my family, as much as I can't stand them sometimes. They are a source of comfort for me, why would I want to willingly leave that?

Because in order to grow, you must stretch yourself to what you know you can be.

After college visitng, comes graduation. That's a pretty big deal to me. I once thought that I would not graduate, not because I wasn't good enough in school, oh no. I know I'm smart, I'm an accelerated student who did better in most of her college classes than the actual college kids last semester. No, it wasn't because I'm not smart enough. I thought, and I'm sure my parents thought this as well, that I was never going to graduate because I was making choices that would have led me down the path of a self-destructive, homeless drop-out. Had my parents allowed me to stay in the environment I was in, I would have become unrecognizable. I look at the choices those former friends or mine are making, and I cringe, because I would have made those same mistakes, and I would have destroyed my life just like they did. But now, with graduation in my sight, I am reminded almost daily that this was not something that I accomplished; this was the work of my Savior. I shouldn't be here, as a dual-enrolled college student, writing a blog about spiritual matters. I should be the girl crashing at a friend's house because my own parents refuse to support my lifestyle. I should be long gone.

And right after graduation, is Canada. I have gotten to the point where I just want to pack up and go already. As much as I don't like thinking about the future, I don't like waiting even more. I was never a patient person, whether it be waiting in line at a theme park, or on a long car ride, or waiting for my parents to finish getting ready for church. I don't like waiting, because there is always the possibility that you waited too long, and you end up getting there late. (I don't like being late, I loathe it. It is a terrible, terrible thing that comes from being unprepared, and it makes you look like you don't care about everybody else's time. And that's not cool.) I don't even know where in Canada I'm going yet, but I want to go. I don't want to sit around anymore. But at the same time, I don't want to go at all. I just want to stay here at home, and go through the summer with my friends and family like I always have. None of this packing up and being gone for two months, I want to stay here.

But as much as I contradict myself, I have to always, always remind myself that I am supposed to be willing and let God stretch me and grow me into the best person he wants me to be. It isn't comfortable, nor is it always going to be a pleasurable experience. But that doesn't mean you won't be happy when it happens. Because if you are willing to let God move you, and you stay planted in His Word, you will always have a peace and joy about you that won't ever let you go.

Emily E.

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