What!? After TWO YEARS , I'm finally writing another Musical Mondays post?? Yes I am! Mainly because I've recently gotten back into making music myself, but also because I've been digger deeper into the music I listen to. I've been focusing a lot on the types of music I listen to and the kind of things I let into my mind and my life. So I feel now is as good a time as ever to bring back this short-lived tradition.
Today, I have a song that was actually shown to me by my best friend. It is by a band that is actually very close to another good friend of ours that I was just introduced to this past week. (Needless to say, they have been on repeat for the past week.) After Holly showed me the music video to this song, she said, "I heard this song and thought, 'This is how Emily sees Canada.'" And it's absolutely true.
We tried to sleep up in the banks of snow
But soon discovered it was far too cold
So we then retreated into town
To find a place where there was level ground
Oh, Oh
Call home
Oh, oh
Call home
Oh, Oh Switzerland
You've taken away my breath now once again
You've left me with a sense of compassion
For the ones who
Can't pick themselves up off the ground
Oh Switzerland
I never thought I'd have you as a friend
I'm praying it was not at all pretend
I need you now
To help pick me up from off the ground
Our drinks were hardly worth the price we paid
But we thanked God for them anyway
With five minutes left we broke our backs
To spend more money than either of us had
Oh, Oh
Call home
Oh, oh
Call home
Oh, Oh Switzerland
You've taken away my breath now once again
You've left me with a sense of compassion
For the ones who
Can't pick themselves up off the ground
Oh Switzerland
I never thought I'd have you as a friend
I'm praying it was not at all pretend
I need you now
To help pick me up from off the ground
Honestly, reading through the lyrics again, I can't help but internalize them. I've never truly been able to describe the way I feel about my time in Vancouver, but in all honesty, this song does a pretty darn good job of it. To be able to describe to someone who has never experienced a new country or place the same way you did is a hard thing, and it's even harder to describe the feeling of falling in love with a place. And to my future husband, whoever you may be, I am sorry, but I will never fall in love with you the way I did with Canada. I'm not even sorry.
We tried to sleep up in the banks of snow
But soon discovered it was far too cold
So we then retreated into town
To find a place where there was level ground
In an interview, Ben Hardesty (the lyricist) said "I think the main message of the song is what that experience left me with, which is an empathy for people who don't have the things that I have, simple things like shelter and food to eat. It just left me kind of with a more real sense of what it's like not to have those things." He and his friend who was traveling with him ended up having to make camp behind a grocery store, in the cold night, after discovering there were no places that had lodging after the train had left for the night.
Sometimes, when you are in a foreign country, and you suddenly are not the one who belongs, it is much, much easier to see that country from the perspective of someone who has nothing. Because for all intents and purposes, legally, you have nothing. You do not have any power or safety, and you are completely dependent on your ability to play to the sympathy of those who actually do. In Vancouver, because I spent so much time downtown, I connected with and felt more empathy towards the homeless community of that city that I have or will probably ever feel for the homeless communities around me here in the States. Because I would have been in the same position had I moved to Vancouver by my own means.
Oh, Oh
Call home
Oh, oh
Call home
Oh, Oh Switzerland
You've taken away my breath now once again
You've left me with a sense of compassion
For the ones who
Can't pick themselves up off the ground
Oh Switzerland
I never thought I'd have you as a friend
I'm praying it was not at all pretend
I need you now
To help pick me up from off the ground
There were a number of times when I was in Vancouver when I desperately wished I could have called my family right then and there and talked to everyone back at home. But sometimes, you have to suck it up, pray to God to keep you safe, and then walk into a new situation with the intent of taking it all in. God cannot teach you or use you if you sit in your comfort zone or if you continuously jump back to it.
It seemed like every single day I spent in Canada there was something else that would cause me to step back and catch my breath. Whether it was the view from the top of mountains, or if it was the spiritual truth I was learning, or if it was just the immense need to love the people, I was constantly overwhelmed by Canada. And it definitely opened me up to the idea that there are broken people everywhere, and it allowed me to really hone my ability to understand people and the reasons behind the things they do. There are not only people who don't have to financial means to pick themselves up from physical, worldly poverty, but there are far more who do not know how to pick themselves up out of the metaphorical mud they have been dragging their souls through.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my time in Canada would change my life and the way I viewed people in the way that it did. Never did I think that I would reach one of my lowest points in British Columbia, or that it would be the sight of Vancouver from the top of Grouse Mountain that pulled me up out of that and allowed me to take care of things from my past and be able to take the steps to move on with my future. But it did. That's exactly what happened, and I am so incredibly grateful for it.
Our drinks were hardly worth the price we paid
But we thanked God for them anyway
With five minutes left we broke our backs
To spend more money than either of us had
Sometimes, when you are freshly eighteen and out of high school...you forget how to budget things. And sometimes, you almost run out of money because you didn't choose the cheaper options in a foreign country and you pray really, really hard, that your debit card will work in the dirty ATM sitting by the fish shop. Yes, that actually happened, and yes, I have since (almost) learned my lesson. The point is, sometimes you have to forget frugality in order to fully experience the world around you.
When you are on a budget in a different place, you learn to be incredibly grateful for the things you have and the things you get to experience. Every day was a blessing and an opportunity to fall in love with God and with Vancouver even more than I was the day before. Spending money that I probably shouldn't just allowed me to have experience that to the fullest extent. Whether you spend that money in Switzerland or Canada, I don't think it really matters. What matters is that you are consistently thankful for God's provision in your stupidity and naivety, and that you are grateful and awe-struck by the experience you are given.
In all honesty, I completely believe my friends when they say my eyes still light up when I talk about Vancouver and my time spent there. because I will never fall out of love with it. One day, I will go back to British Columbia, and it might look completely different than what I remember, but that's okay. Because then I get to fall in love with it and the beautiful people of it all over again. This blog was started as a way to keep everyone in my life updated on how my life was going while I was in Canada. Even now, nearly three years later, I'm still updating you all, because a part of my heart is still there, growing with the city and wandering the streets, breaking for the lost and scared people who do not know how to find the Light.
Emily E.
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